Does this ever happen to you?

You try to change your eating habits in order to be "healthier." Or to lose weight. Or to feel more "in control" of your eating. Whatever the reason, you start counting calories or you cut out entire food groups. Or maybe you try to add more "good" foods into your eating pattern. Or maybe you do all of those things, and you decide to hit the gym four times a week.

And you maintain those behaviors. For awhile anyway. Maybe for a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or even a couple of years.

But then one day.....

You backslide. Maybe it starts with a "cheat meal" that turns into another "cheat meal" or an entire "cheat day." And that turns into a week, a month, or a few years. Or maybe one day you just say "I can't do this any more!!!" And you eat all of the things that you've forbidden for the past however long. Or maybe you just decide that you can "safely" add the foods back that you had cut out but somehow that turns into a giant free-for-all.

And that giant free-for-all might last for a few days, a few weeks, or a few months.

So then what do you do? You try your hardest to get back on that diet. To count those calories, cut out those food groups, and add that kale back in. And that might last for a bit, or even awhile. But then it all comes crashing down again.

This is what we call the Restrict/Binge Cycle.

The Restrict/Binge Cycle is exactly what it sounds like: a pattern of eating behavior that moves from dieting/restricting to bingeing/overeating. Now, you don't have to be formally dieting or meet diagnostic criteria for binge eating to be engaged in this pattern. It may be less extreme for you. Maybe for you, it looks like:

Cutting out one food group and then finding yourself buying multiple items from that food group at your next trip to the grocery store
Deciding to eat more fruits and vegetables but after a week or so realizing that you haven't had so much as a carrot stick over the past three days
Promising yourself that you won't turn to Ben & Jerry's when you're having a bad day but then grabbing the Oreos instead

Or maybe you truly do severely restrict your food intake and then eventually binge to the point of discomfort. Whatever this cycle looks like for you, many of us get caught up in this pattern.

Within the framework of IFS, we call this cycle a polarization.

Polarizations occur when two parts or two groups of parts oppose or compete with each other. It’s like the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. Both parts or groups of parts have their own agenda, and they fear that the other side will take over. So each side has to get louder and more extreme in order to take control.

In the case of the Restrict/Binge Cycle, we have one group of parts that feels the need to diet for whatever reason, and another group of parts that wants to use food for comfort, distraction, and/or numbing, and that doesn't want you to deprive yourself. Both groups are trying to help and protect you, but they have very different views of what that looks like and very different ways of going about it.

So they become locked in a polarization, with each side getting louder and louder the longer this goes on.

In this week's podcast we're doing a deep dive into the Restrict/Binge Cycle through the lens of IFS and polarizations. We're taking a close look at why polarizations occur, how they lead to this cycle, and what to do about them. We talk about the concept of backlash and how this explains why diets never work. This is an episode that I think will give you a lo of "aha moments," so take a listen!

Click below to listen!

Episode 19: IFS and Our Eating Parts: Using IFS to Get Out of the Restrict/Binge Cycle.