Over the past few weeks, we've been talking a lot about Internal Family Systems (IFS). From how it works to how it can help you understand and change your eating patterns. And you've probably heard me say the word "parts" a thousand times by now.

But with all of this information, you're probably still left with one question:

How do I do IFS?

We're finally getting to that this week! On this week's podcast, we're covering a lot of ground on how we get to know our parts. But let's back up for a minute--what does getting to know your parts even mean? And why do I need to do it?

As we've discussed, we have various parts that "run the show" or "drive the bus" at various times. And even though our parts are trying to be helpful, sometimes they don't exactly lead us in the right direction.

Take the part of you that loves to eat Oreos.

That part thinks it's helping you (it is). It thinks it's giving you comfort (it is). Giving you Oreos when you're upset is the job it's had forever. It sees you upset, so it literally walks you to the pantry to get Oreos. And it thinks to itself, "I helped!" And it's happy.

But.....

Maybe it eats so much Oreos that your stomach hurts. Or maybe you have another part that hates that it eats Oreos, and it gets really angry. Or maybe you have another part that sees you eat Oreos and decides that it needs to start dieting pronto, and it tosses the rest of the Oreos in the trash.

Our parts have feelings toward and react to each other. And until you get to know all of these parts, that system just keeps going around and around and around and around and no one's happy.

When you get to know your parts, you can more easily see when they're taking over, and you can intervene. You can have a conversation between your Self and your parts instead of reacting to them. Remember that we have a Self? The essence of who you are? Getting to know our parts is essentially introducing our Self to our parts. Our Self is curious about them and wants to be helpful. Our Self can heal our parts.

Let's look at the Oreos again.

Say this part says, "{$name}, you've had a rough day. I think Oreos will help." Since you're now aware of this Oreo-Eating part, because you've taken the time to get to know it, you'll notice that this is happening. And instead of just heading to the pantry to grab the Oreos, you'll stop and check in with this part. Which may look like:

Self: Hey there, I noticed you're heading for those Oreos again. What's going on?
Part: It just seemed like you were having a bad day. I thought Oreos might help.
Self: They might, but I'm wondering what was stressful and what else might be helpful.
Part: Well, another part of me got triggered when people were talking about dieting. It felt alone and sad.
Self: I can understand that. That must have been really painful. I wonder if we can help that part feel less alone and sad. Maybe it would be helpful to call one of my friends who doesn't diet. That might help it feel better.
Part: That's a really good idea--let's do that.

This is what a conversation between your Self and your part(s) might look like. Instead of the part taking over, you're able to have some space between your Self and your part so that you can have a dialogue and figure out what your part or parts need.

So in this week's podcast, we're discussing how to find your Self-Energy and how to get to know your parts. I give you five different ways of accessing and befriending your parts in the hope that one or more of them really resonate with you. My hope is that once you practice these methods, you'll have a much more curious and compassionate relationship with your parts.

Click below to listen!

Episode 20: IFS and Our Eating Parts: How to BeFriend Your Oreo Eater.