Episode 45: How IFS Can Help Heal the Trauma of Diet Culture, with Agnis Pena-Toro.
I wish we were sitting and chatting over a cup of coffee right now, because I would love to know your thoughts about the title of this episode (How IFS Can Help Heal the Trauma of Diet Culture).
I'm curious if you've thought about dieting and diet culture as being traumatic. I don't think "trauma" is a word we tend to use when we talk about dieting, but I think it should be.
(And if you're not in a place to be thinking about trauma right now, please stop reading. I'm not mentioning any specific types of trauma in this email but still--please take care of yourself and skip this one if you need to.)
First off, let me say that I am in no way comparing dieting to other more extreme types of trauma. They are not the same, and I in no way mean to suggest that they are or diminish the impact of those experiences.
But I do believe that dieting can be traumatic both physically and emotionally. Let's talk about why.
When we think of trauma, we obviously think about situations and events that threaten our lives. Events that put you in physical danger and that produce bodily harm or possibly loss of life.
Dieting actually does fit into this category. It can threaten our lives. If you've engaged in severe restriction, you know this to be true. Dieting is literally starving your body, and your body has no idea that this is self-imposed. It truly believes that it's starving. And at some point, it will fight you because it's afraid of dying.
That's traumatic.
And to a lesser degree, navigating the world in a large body can be traumatic on its own. The world isn't built for large bodies. Not knowing if there will be adequate seating, knowing the airplane seat won't fit, having to defend your physical self to friends, family, leads to feeling less safe in the world.
That's traumatic.
Dieting can be traumatic on an emotional level as well. Because in addition to a threat to our physical bodies, trauma can also mean a lack of emotional safety. And it's really hard to feel emotionally safe in your body in most cultures on this planet.
Let's face it--the biggest reason for dieting is to change the look/shape of your body. And why do you feel the need to do that? Because you've been told your entire life that whatever you look like isn't right.
"You can never be too rich or too thin."
Even if you fit the accepted ideal standards of beauty, diet culture will find a way to convince you that you're still not thin enough, attractive enough, fit enough, strong enough, etc.
And if you don't fit the ideal standards of beauty, it's a million times worse. You're inundated with messages that you aren't worthy, good enough, or acceptable. You may get those messages directly from family and friends as well, which is even more demoralizing.
That's traumatic.
Dieting as a form of trauma is one of the things that we're talking about on this week's podcast. I was lucky enough to have a fantastic conversation with Agnis Pena-Toro, a Psychotherapist and Body and Food Liberation coach and consultant. Her specialty is helping women heal the trauma, hurts and difficult memories from the past that have impacted their relationship with their bodies and food. She is passionate about supporting women in liberating themselves from body image, food, weight- and size-limiting internal and external beliefs.
This is not only professional to Agnis but is personal also. On the podcast, Agnis talks about her own history with diet culture, and the extreme emphasis on physical appearance in Venezuela, where she was born and raised. She shares her story of the messages she received from her culture as well as her family, and how she finally "hit rock bottom" and stopped dieting.
Agnis refers to dieting as "Intergenerational Trauma," and I couldn't agree with her more.
Agnis and I are both IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapists, and we discuss how IFS can bring healing to those struggling with food and body difficulties. We both truly believe that IFS has something to offer that nothing else does.
I absolutely loved talking to Agnis. She is such a warm person with a wonderful sense of humor. And she's really doing amazing work with her clients. Take a listen!
Where to find Agnis:
Click below to listen!